01
der Gram
grief
A deep, lasting sorrow or great sadness, often because of a loss, disappointment, or misfortune.
example
Nach dem Tod ihres Mannes zerfraß sie der Gram.
After her husband's death, grief consumed her.
der Gram
grief / grudge
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Meanings
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Usage tips
Word family
The noun 'der Gram' (grief) is closely related to the verb 'sich grämen' (to grieve/worry). 'Sich über etwas grämen' means to worry about something or to be sad about something.
EXAMPLE
Er grämte sich sehr über die verpasste Gelegenheit.
He was very upset about the missed opportunity.
Elevated style
The word 'Gram' (grief) for sorrow is mainly used in literature and in elevated language. It is rare in everyday speech.
EXAMPLE
In dem Gedicht geht es um den tiefen Gram einer verlassenen Frau.
The poem is about the deep grief of an abandoned woman.
Typical collocations
'Gram' (grief) is often used with verbs that describe intense inner pain. Typical phrases are 'sich vor Gram verzehren' (to waste away with grief) or 'in Gram versinken' (to sink into grief).
EXAMPLE
Nach dem schweren Verlust versank er in tiefem Gram.
After the heavy loss, he sank into deep grief.
Archaic expression
The expression 'jemandem gram sein' (to be angry with someone / to bear someone a grudge) is archaic and is no longer actively used in modern German. You find it almost only in old texts or historical films.
EXAMPLE
In dem alten Brief schrieb er: „Ich hoffe, du bist mir nicht gram.“
In the old letter he wrote: “I hope you are not angry with me.”
Dative construction
In the old expression 'gram sein' (to bear a grudge), the person one is angry with is always in the dative. One is 'jemandem' (someone, dative) gram.
EXAMPLE
Der König war dem Diener gram, weil dieser einen Fehler gemacht hatte.
The king bore the servant a grudge because he had made a mistake.
Compare with
Gram vs Freude
joy
'die Freude' and 'der Gram' are opposites as feelings. 'Freude' is a positive feeling of happiness and satisfaction. 'Gram' means deep and lasting sorrow. So the contrast is between inner happiness and heavy sadness. 'Freude' is completely normal in everyday language. 'Gram' sounds more elevated or old-fashioned and fits serious situations, for example after a loss or a great disappointment.
Gram
Nach dem Tod seines Freundes zog sich mein Vater aus Gram zurück.
After his friend's death, my father withdrew out of grief.
Freude
Im Gesicht der Kundin war echte Freude zu sehen.
Real joy could be seen on the customer's face.
In real life
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